it’s practically raining here. And it’s cold. So why is there an ice cream truck on my street? 🍦

Okay, I may have a situation. I pulled my hamstring. I have Ben Gay on it. (I stink! and yes, i know they make scentless, but I’m using up what i have on hand.). I’m wearing yoga pants (i know … hilarious as I’ve never yoga’d) … and I’m going, well, sans proper undergarments. Some of the Ben Gay has migrated and my lady parts are en fuego. 🔥 may die

I have some career decisions to make, like now, as new shit has come to light. I hates making these choices. it all seems so permanent.

I received devastating news today. The Alamo shots in “Pee Wee’s big Adventure” were not filmed at the Alamo! They were filmed at the SF Mission.

I feel better after being on the treadmill. I also feel good after shopping. Why can’t I get excited about shrinking the size of my ass like I can buying the latest Kate Spade? maybe I should only allow myself to shop while on the treadmill????

yesterday was such an adventure-filled day that the following posts may be out of order. i’m posting as i remember tidbits. i didn’t take any notes … i was the driver and had to concentrate on said driving skills as the state of california has sent me a nasty letter regarding my recent speeding infractions, but that is another story for another day.

so, on my way down to meet my partner in crime, i called to make a reservation for dinner. Messhall in Los Feliz / Silverlake is not an Open Table restaurant so i had to go old school.

i got an answering machine advising that if i wished to make a reservation, i could leave a message and someone would get back to me. it was a tuesday night, so i didn’t think there would be an issue with a same-day reservation, but it is LA and i loathe waiting for tables.

the hostess with the mostess called me back around 4. i missed her call … but her vm advised that they were light on reservations (tuesday) and not to worry … just come in when we were ready and she’d take care of us.

we were super early. like senior dinner time early. like a little before 5. the place was deserted, but i told the hostess who i was anyway, a. because i am polite and b. i didn’t want her wondering where we were. i guess a. and b. are kinda the same, but whatever.

she let us pick our table and was super friendly. my partner excused himself to the latrines and during his absence, the hostess came over to our table and advised me that my voicemail was one of the best she had ever received. she said that she could tell that i was very important. like a producer or something. (so LA). i assured her that i was very important and we went about our evening.

so, the call came in.  my poor, sick, sleep-deprived and rattled sister had hit a pothole (what the hell are you doing with my tax dollars, California?) and blew a tire.  she was waiting, on the side of the road, in her leopard print pajamas at 1500 in the afternoon, for Ralph* and AAA.

Dominic was still in his pjs … (new pair after he peed on the couch, duh) … but we had to go rescue Blondie.  we packed up and headed out to Claremont Blvd + 6th to find her.  I think Dominic had fun “looking for mommy on the side of the road because her tire went poof!”  (and yes, I egged him on with the poofed comment … that is what aunties are for!)

after a WTFAY call at Claremont Blvd and Foothill, Dominic and I found Mommy.  I’m not sure how we missed her.  She and Ralph* were on the side of the road, emptying the trunk of the suddenly inoperable Civic in a frenzy as they were trying to release the spare tire aka. POS do-nut tire from the bowels of the car.  it was a sight.  thank goodness Ralph* had some empty boxes in his truck so they could gather all of the obviously important and signed documents that had been abandoned like 2 years earlier by, well, we’ll call him Mr. Brady.  my poor sister looked like she was going to collapse.  oh, and she had a ‘frig in that truck too.  i know it wasn’t appropriate, but that made me laugh.

so, Ralph* and I sent her home with Dominic and we waited for AAA to arrive.

Omar, from AAA, was able to make the car drivable, despite the fact that Ralph* fought him every step of the way.  Omar was a saint.  Are you supposed to tip those guys?  I wasn’t sure of the protocol, but Omar got a tip.  I’m sure he’ll never forget changing that tire with Ralph* breathing down his neck.

so, I, aka Speedball Tucker, got to drive the Civic with the do-nut.  okay, the story has a happy ending and the Civic wound up with all new shoes, but seriously, who let’s a known speeder drive a car with a do-nut for a kick?  i wasn’t sure of the rules, but i think you can go up to 55 on those shoes, so i stayed on side-streets and there was no further malfeasance with that ride.

after the tire situation had been resolved, i headed over to the hospital to see the cutest patient in the 909.  poor little Sassafras, she was SO ready to go home (who could blame her?) but she was trying to be brave.  i cannot express in words how awful it was to see her in the hospital.  i hope it never happens again.  we hung out and watched “full house;” it was like Kim and I got to relive our youth a little with that show.  who doesn’t love uncle joey?  Sophia was so good; not one peep out of that kid.  Model patient.

I left the hospital, rescuing my car from the 909 Valut, and I think James and I finally ate dinner at 2100.  and of course, Sir Dominic was running around like a madman, not understanding the correlation between his super high activity level and his bouts of trying to expel phlegm from his bod.  hats off to my sister and brother-in-law, i do not know how they do it.  now, if we could bottle and sell that energy, well, someone else could be writing this entry for me.  🙂

sophia was released the next day … 1/17/13.  i think she may have kissed the family room floor when she got home she was so excited.  poor kid.  she is a trooper.

as for the rest of the family, Dominic was sick for a few more days, although he managed (i don’t know how) not to be admitted to the hospital.  Kim got sick too, but somehow James stayed healthy.  it looks like the Sinks are out of the woods, but Aunt Juju is on call, at least in her mind, until those kids go off to college.

*some of the names have been changed due to a personal preference of specific people to remain off of the grid.

“max and ruby” used the term shuttlecock during one of the endless episodes Dominic and I watched. the term was used correctly, but f., i had to giggle. especially when after using shuttlecock in the first place, Ruby and her BFF used birdie for the duration of the episode. wtf?

First solo day on Boy Patrol.  What a little angel.  Dominic was under the weather too … so we watched movies and “Max and Ruby” ad nauseum.  Now, while I have watched movies such as “The Big Lebowski” over and over, but rarely straightaway in a row.  Silver lining is that I discovered “Big and Chunky” by will.i.am during the screening of “Madagascar 2.”  I am so in love with that song. 

The morning went by quickly.  And my little buddy took a nap, right on schedule.  Why?  Because I am magical.  So magical, in fact, that he managed to pee all over the couch during said nap.  (Damn, that couch really tied the room together, Poppie.)

After the Boy and couch were cleaned up, I asked Sir Dominic what he wanted for lunch.  He advised that food would work.  Not helpful.  I’m the aunt … I don’t have kids … I wasn’t sure what to feed him.  He wound up with “white pasta,” strawberries, yogurt and Gouda.  And water.  I didn’t want those temporary teeth of his rotting out on my watch!  He ate it, so I must have done okay.

The afternoon started out as peacefully as the morning.  We were happy.  Until the phone rang.  All of the sudden, the quacking of a duck tore through our nirvana, announcing the incoming call of Blondie.  No big deal, right?  I knew she was coming home at some point to take a shower break.

How wrong I was.  Somewhere along the 6.1 miles that separates the hospital in SB County and the Sink Estate, Blondie hit a pothole, or something, and blew a tire.  Dominic and I had to act fast and go help rescue Mommy.  This is where it gets good … more to come.