We are walking out of the hotel room for the investiture. It’s dressy. Good news. Slacks are too big. Bad news. My sandals I brought are two right feet. I have two pairs and grabbed the wrong ones. At the last minute I threw in a pair of blood red flats, so at least I don’t have to wear casual sandals. Or skull flops

Eating food on an airplane is like buying food at Big Lots.

En route to Florida, I was served cheese, crackers, fruit and a piece of chocolate. The types of food were recognizable…bleu cheese, Munster, water crackers, chocolate … but I’d never heard of any of the brands. Just like at Big Lots.

I wonder if the airlines sell surplus to Big Lots?

Curious. I am all about the connections.

You’ve managed to find 1.5 ply bath tissue. I’m going to have to secure my own. I am a delicate flower.

first class. one baby. one loud 2 YO. BULLSHIT

You can’t escape Destiny. She comes for us all, that relentless bitch. That’s right, Destiny is a lady. Destiny might be a lady, but Victory has a penis.

New Girl

TSA clearance still works.

I haven’t parked at the parking spot since late 2008. I get out of the car tonight and hear “Julie!” One of the guys, Luis, remembered me after all of this time. OMFG

almost to LAX for the big trip to Florida. Joe is driving. I love being driven to the airport. I should have sat in the back seat to make it more real

I love George Thorogood’s “narrated” version of “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.

I am less amorous of the fact that I’m pretty sure I dated the protagonist described in that song.