i’m staying in a hampton inn for work. it’s close to the tradeshow.

tonight is my 5th night. it is Wednesday, July 25th.

despite requests, my room has not been cleaned since Sunday. i asked the front desk, again, this morning to do everything … change the sheets (i got part of a chocolate protein bar on then 3 days ago and they have just been making the bed. there has been a spray bottle of glass cleaner in my bathroom since Sunday. i purposefully left a bar of soap and its wrapper on the shower floor on Sunday, and it was still there tonight.

but the most egregious offense was someone left the deadbolt “out” and my room was open ALL DAY.

i demanded the manager come up and review the malfeasance. he was horrified. and apologetic. he asked what he could do to “make it up to me.” i told him that he should comp my stay (over $1,000) and post the points i would have earned to my account.

folio is comped.

150,000 hilton points have already been posted to my account

i have reported the issues to the sponsor of the tradeshow and my broker; the broker books 5-10 rooms here 2x a year.

but i’m still creeped out. who leaves a door open? i’ve spent well over 1,000 nights in a hotel and my security has never been breached. i won’t stay here again.

i spied a taco place called Velvet Tacos tonight on Rush Street. of course i had to take a picture.

as i was lining up my shot, i heard a deep voice behind me, talking to a buddy, about the Velvet Taco place and commenting that they should also take a picture.

me being me, i offered up, its almost as good as Pink Taco. as i turned around to see my new friends, the one guy was like, oh, i was talking to him … obviously worried he may have offended me. i laughed and asked if they’d heard of Pink Taco. they had not. i told them that it’s the creation of a Morton heir and they were like, oh really, where is one!?!?

the eldest in the group then thanked me for getting the younger man started. he then told me Pink Taco sounded like the movies the younger man watched.

laughing so hard.

we are at the ferris wheel. we bought the premium tickets to be in the one glass bottom pod. the guy didn’t look at our tickets and tried to put us in a regular pod. i was like, excuse me, that floor is opaque. he looked at our tickets again and asked us to step aside. one of the employees started chanting VIP, VIP, VIP. it was glorious

for some reason, whenever i hear “gin and juice,” i always think snoop is drinking gin and grapefruit juice. i don’t know why. but today, in a moment of clarity, i realized he could be referring to orange, or frankly, any kind of juice.

maybe i thought this because i’m on the 94 headed into downtown chicago and passed OJ’s alibi hotel. who knows.

disaster.

old school bluetooth.

that fucking hair

busts through the line at the gas station yelling, i need a triple jackpot ticket

is told the ticket is $20

tells the cashier that he has to call his boss for permission

then explains he means his wife

goes to the ATM in the gas station lobby to do a withdrawal

he can’t make a $20 purchase decision on his own but he will pay ATM fees at a gas station?

he’s at the table next to me waiting for his car, talking on his bluetooth

JFC

“random” TSA check at SEA.

the agent told me today was electronics testing day!

so, i asked her to define electronics.

she hesitated and was like, “laptops and stuff.”

i said, “oh, okay. i need a BIG table.”

i pulled out a laptop, 2 iPads, my phone, a point and shoot camera and every power cord i had. she was obviously irritated. she had to swipe and check like 10 things.

i win.

it was kind of cold that night

She stood alone on her balcony

She could the cars roll by

Out on 441

Like waves crashin’ in the beach

And for one desperate moment there

He crept back in her memory

God it’s so painful

Something that’s so close

And still so far out of reach

some idiot just grabbed my THIGH to alert me, in a very dark plane, that he needed to exit the row. my THIGH!?! my arm wasn’t good enough? guess who’s leaving her light on for the ENTIRE FLIGHT? 14F may be going down. news at 11.

sometimes you are in receipt of a gift that is more amazing than you ever could have imagined.

today, my gift arrived.

new colleague at work told me, in front of the peeps at our dinner table, that i am either the most interesting person he’s ever met, or the scariest. what a fabulous compliment. my work here feels done, but i think it’s just beginning.

the salesman cleaned out my car for me when i was in finance. that included a dirty towel, gym shoes, sandy mandals, sea glass, mints, hair ties, sharpies, 17,000 reusable bags, my pink iPod, an air freshener, some homemade mix CDs, old business cards, benedryl. tylenol, a nail file, a Cubs visor, leopard print umbrella, two hello kitty flashlights, a black light, an LED light, a myriad of cords, my insurance and registration cards in a yellow hello kitty envelope, a jump rope, gym bag, wrist wraps, etc BUT NO TAMPONS. i’m so disappointed. who am i?