it’s so weird not being on the road. i have to cook for myself (or heat stuff up), pick up my towels, make the bed, the list goes on and on and is somewhat overwhelming. i did spend a night in a haunted hotel in ventura since I’ve been home … but that was a bloody disappointment. what to do? i have 8 days before I fly again, I guess I need to go to the beach. next stop, south fucking jersey and I can hardly stand it. it sucks ass there. Snooki and all

okay, so the poop story.

I flew back from Vegas a few days ago … It’s a 40 minute flight to LAX … once airborne .. which sometimes is the caveat … but I digress.

so, first class was allowed to board as they were still “cleaning” second class. (I’m trying to focus, but seriously, “cleaning?” who are they kidding?) anyway, it became obvious, as a maintenance dude, who looked super hostile (it might have been his mullet), traipsed up the aisle carrying seat cushions and seat belts. something had obviously gone down on the flight in.

mullet finishes, finally, and they board the rest of the plane. we’re behind schedule. shocking. as people board, a guy, about 20, asked the flight attendant if he could use the lav … she was like sure, just hurry. so, he entered the first class lav.

i was in 3E, so I had a front row seat for what was about to unfold.

I didn’t notice until they closed the door, but the guy never exited. the flight attendant, told the pilot, through the cockpit door, that we still had one in the lav.

we waited.

the guy emerged and just about ran to his seat. he didn’t shut the door all the way.

the flight attendant got up to secure the door and started gagging. the smell of poo reached me pretty quickly and then it all made sense.

the FA called the only male FA on the plane up to the front. together, with their noses and mouths covered with their American Airlines sweaters, they opened up the door a little and threw coffee grounds into the offending lav. it was like the scene in “the hangover” in which Alan throws meat into the bathroom to drug the tiger.

the smell got pretty bad, despite the coffee. the flight attendants finished throwing coffee and one of them told us that it’s just a 40 minute flight and we should avoid using the lav if we could. hot.

she then asked the pilots, who had opened their door for some reason, “who does that? it’s a 40 minute flight.”

with the smell of poo lingering in the air, we flew home to LAX.

my first post from the iPad, to be published shortly, will tell the tale of polluted airplane … a story few know yet, so it’s perfect.

It may be a shaky start … I’m not scheduled to travel for 2 weeks (biggest break all year) so my life may be pretty ho hum for a bit … I feel like a little bit in seclusion

I can already tell that the lack of colors and different font options is going to make me insane

i need to link this blog up to my iPhone and iPad … then it will all be perfect.  otherwise how am i going to post pictures?  who takes pictures with a Dell?  i guess i could do it old school … but what’s the point?

i need an outlet.  something more than twitter … i need more than 140 characters to express what i’m feeling … what’s going on in my life … or most importantly … the weird and wacky stuff that happens to me every time i leave the comforts of the shack.  and since that fateful day when i sprained my jaw … maybe it’s better that i write more than i talk?

is this thing on?