creepiest flight attendant ever. i call him Norman and he is also a close talker.

how is it possible that a $129/night courtyard in dirty jersey and a $299/night Marriott in Philly can both be filthy? that is not my peanut. assholes.

night two. mt laurel, new jersey. 1000 century parkway. night two. THOSE AREN’T MY CHERRIOS

hot dogs are definitely a theme of the day. the driver that picked me up at the Philly airport owns a hot dog cart that he runs on the weekends.

let’s start at the top … of his head … he met me at baggage claim and I instantly noticed his toupee. I’ve seen a few in my day, but this one was the biggest by far!

he was nice enough … probably mid-50s … fourth week on the job … already got a lady lost in the Bronx … So you know I’m thinking I’m going to be found dead tomorrow morning, Tony Soprano style.

he drives. and talks and talks and talks. then he tells me about his hot dog cart. now I have the weenie man song going through my head, my phone is ringing, he won’t shut up, and I’m stuck in the back of a town car doing 70 across the bridge into NJ, life passing before my eyes. incredible.

finally, we make it to the hotel. I get out … don’t even wait for him to open the door … and flee into the dump of a hotel at which I am staying.

I need to do some soul searching and make some changes. I can’t live like this.

okay so this lady asked the wheelchair pusher dude to get her a pretzel dog and a bottle of water. she gave him $5. he came back, with the goods, and asked her if she wanted the receipt. she said yes and realized that he paid $0.30 out of his own pocket for her food. she whipped open her wallet, gave him a dollar, and told him to keep the change. OMG. I just hope she’s in coach because that hot dog is going to be searching for daylight (quoting Scott Martin) before the flight has landed in Philly.

who the fuck does this to their fellow passengers?

Love TSA pre-check. Told them I had a bunch of extra liquids / meds and the guy said, “just leave them in your bag, pre-checks can take whatever they want through.”

and now he switches to 95.5…just as we exit the freeway. do I look that old?

off to dirty jersey today … despite the fact that I still feel like shit and really should be resting in my bed, reading “the exorcist” with Lola … but it wasn’t my choice.

so, I’m en route to the 5th circle of hell, aka LAX. I’m being driven by a nice man who marinated in his cologne. if I can smell him, he over did it. JFC.

BTW, he’s my age or younger … and he’s making us listen to XM 5 and I may kill myself. I don’t have the energy to make him change it, which should tell you how sick I feel.

here’s to a waste of a Sunday in the not so friendly skies!

traveling has been suspended this week due to surgery. it’s amazing that I’ve lived in Los Angeles for almost 40 years and this is my first nose job