I loathe the KIA. “Know-It-All.” If you don’t know how to do something … um, just admit it. it’ll save me from kicking your teeth in when you f up my stuff and save you an embarrassing trip to the dentist

this is the first time in a very, very, very, very long time that I’m totally and completely happy. who knew turning 40 would be so awesome?????

3 in the back, one in the front. I was in the back in the end. the door didn’t shut and he was like, oh someone ate some lunch! I was like dick. Then he drove like an asshole and went a really long way so he could charge us more. Like $5 more. So we get out, the fare was $12.90. I have him $12 and was like fuck it. He chased us wdown for his 90 cents. I was like fuck you you are an asshole. Security said I had to give him the ninety cents. I wouldn’t. Kim did. I got right in his face and told him he was an asshole

it’s hard adjusting to a new job. really difficult. I have my first official presentation tomorrow and I’m seriously stressed about what the office considers an acceptable presentation to give a national chain. the deck was printed on 20 lb paper, on an ink jet, placed into low end sheet protectors and then put into a dusty, black binder. it was 5:30 when I was handed the finished product and I have to say, I wanted to cry. dare to be remarkable, I always say. I have built a reputation on being remarkable, and I can’t fuck that up now. I went shopping, and will assemble my own presentation in the AM. and then, diplomatically, show the owner the difference. I’d rather know now that this isn’t a good fit that after I’ve presented a piece of shit presentation because I was scared. I’m good and I can be good here or somewhere else.

i will DIE if i have to go to padukah. 137 miles out of nashville. seriously.

there is woman in the office named Rita. it’s killing me. i just want to burst out in song.

i handed my expense report to the controller this morning. first one. he asked me if i would be here later TODAY so he could give me A CHECK. last company took up to one month to pay up.

my favorite part of my stepmom’s birthday last week was taking advantage of the long, empty banquet room by re-enacting the “time of my life” run and lift scene from “Dirty Dancing” with Sophia. you know, the part when Baby finally does the lift after Johnny extricates her from the corner. Sophia was Baby to my Johnny Castle and we rocked those moves.