I’ve clocked about 2 million miles in the air. Travel Level exceeds expert. However, I made a rookie mistake tonight.

I thought my plane was at 17:55. Flight 424. I found it on the airport playboard. It said gate N8. So, I went to the N Terminal. I had dinner. I shopped at one of my favorite stores. I was relaxed.

Got to N8 and it said it wasn’t departing until 18:55. Weird. No note about a delay. Just 18:55. That explained why there were so few people waiting for the oversold flight. I sat down and proceeded to wait.

I don’t know why I checked the Alaska app. But thank goodness I did. My flight was 464 and WAS leaving at 17:55. in fact it was boarding. trouble was that the doors closed in 25 minutes and I was on the other side of the airport.

so, I sorta ran. best as a fat kid can. but thank goodness for Crossfit or I would have died. DIED. I broke a sweat, but I did it. I made it. Until the mean let at the gate wouldn’t let me board. But that is another story for another day. I eventually got on the plane and am almost home.

SEA to LAX

refurbished 737-900.
EVERY seat has its own power supply.
They have free streaming movies and TV.
Beats American every day

mine has an airbag. weird. won’t that split my gut open in the event of an emergency landing???

it’s not about the shoes. I’ve flown over 2 million miles and I can assure you, I have plenty of easy on + off shoes. no, it’s about the laptop and liquids.

I’m one person, who generally carries her allotted carry-on bags onto the aircraft. I pack efficiently, but I still don’t want to have to take out my laptop and quart sized Baggie of approved liquids in 3 oz containers or less. it’s a hassle. It takes three bins. I get stuck behind less efficient travelers. It’s a clusterfuck. So, I applied to, and paid for, TSA Pre✔️. (Despite the fact that I was in American’s program and grandfathered in, they wouldn’t give me my known number so I could use it on other airlines.). I played the game.

Now, for the second flight in a row, Pre✔️ was CLOSED. I didn’t give it much thought in Reno, as it’s super teeny, but at LAX? MIDDLE OF THE DAY? At ALASKA? I about lost my mind.

The PIC said there were enough people to WARRANT opening it. By my count, the SIX wheelchairs and multiple children under 5 said differently. But she was mean and didn’t budge. Her reply, “you may leave on your shoes.” Great.

So, I complied, because I have to get to Seattle, but let me tell you, I will find a way to complain without getting put on a double secret no-fly list. And as for today, I did feel better using five bins and taking my sweet time to get through. Bastards.

She puts her makeup on
Like graffiti on the walls of the heartland
She’s got her little book of conspiracies
Right in her hand

yes, ma’am. I do crossfit.

she needs a sign around her neck stating, “I held up an entire flight of people because I can’t read my ticket and bullied someone into trading the wrong seat with me.” (I was not the bullied. I would have kicked her in the shins.)

Direct quote from a SWA1180 passenger, “well, if there are only middles left, then let’s see if there’s a window in the back.”

I can’t remember the last time I flew on Southwest out of LAX. It is a shitshow. There are no restaurants, the starbucks line rivals security, the passengers are dressed for Walmart and there is a bird loose in the terminal. and everything is FILTHY

I am going to contract a disease. There isn’t enough Hello Kitty Hand Sanitizer in the world to protect me.

Her name was Polly Esther.

Can’t make that shit up.