it’s hard adjusting to a new job. really difficult. I have my first official presentation tomorrow and I’m seriously stressed about what the office considers an acceptable presentation to give a national chain. the deck was printed on 20 lb paper, on an ink jet, placed into low end sheet protectors and then put into a dusty, black binder. it was 5:30 when I was handed the finished product and I have to say, I wanted to cry. dare to be remarkable, I always say. I have built a reputation on being remarkable, and I can’t fuck that up now. I went shopping, and will assemble my own presentation in the AM. and then, diplomatically, show the owner the difference. I’d rather know now that this isn’t a good fit that after I’ve presented a piece of shit presentation because I was scared. I’m good and I can be good here or somewhere else.

i will DIE if i have to go to padukah. 137 miles out of nashville. seriously.

there is woman in the office named Rita. it’s killing me. i just want to burst out in song.

i handed my expense report to the controller this morning. first one. he asked me if i would be here later TODAY so he could give me A CHECK. last company took up to one month to pay up.

my favorite part of my stepmom’s birthday last week was taking advantage of the long, empty banquet room by re-enacting the “time of my life” run and lift scene from “Dirty Dancing” with Sophia. you know, the part when Baby finally does the lift after Johnny extricates her from the corner. Sophia was Baby to my Johnny Castle and we rocked those moves.

so, i ran out to get some lunch. i went to JollyBoy Burgers on Gage Avenue in Bell Gardens.
it’s one of those little mom and pop’s.
well, it’s poorly signed and i drove through the drive thru the WRONG way.
there was no one else in line.
so i turned around and went the right way.
the amount of food i got for $7.17 is criminal. it’s like The Hat x2.
i had to pull over at a 76 and dispose of the remains.

it’s hard being me today.

wonders how she is supposed to eat her BBQ pork bun without a knife

the janitor, who also probably has gone through my locker, threw out my Sprinkles bag. #firstworldproblems

okay, i hate that song too, but it’s so true. i was going through the accounts of my predecessor at my new gig and saw a name i hadn’t seen in a very long time. he will remain anonymous here, but let me just say that he was the most difficult buyer with whom i’ve ever dealt and the deal we negotiated is to date the most tedious and dramatic contract on which i’ve worked. there is a very good chance that i will be calling on him again shortly, and boy, am i ready. 🙂 note to self: always a good idea to leave all bridges intact. it’s rarely worth burning one down. however, if i burn a bridge with you, you know that it’s because you’re the world’s biggest jackass.

the hotels are so sketchy down in commerce, california, that i think the only solution is to hitch an airstream up to Black Cherry Pie and stay in the parking lot of the local Walmart. i think i’d be cleaner. i cannot believe i’m paying to stay in these hellholes.