I tried to teach Sophia how to rhyme. she already knows how. She beat me at Chutes and Ladders. She kicked my ass at Pop Up Pirate. She told me I’m loud, but not as loud as Dominic. Good day

boys have it so easy. they roll out of bed, run a comb through their hair, hopefully brush their fangs and they’re out the door. girls, on the other hand, have hair to blow out, make-up to apply, legs to shave, etc., etc., etc. it’s not fair. boys have no stress in the morning, yet the tone of my entire day has been compromised because my eyelashes wouldn’t curl right. oh the humanity!

I fell in ❤ with Pee Wee Herman in 1985 when my parents took me to see Pee Wee’s Big Adventure in the theater. I’m pretty sure they hated it, but I was quickly obsessed.

To date, I’ve seen the movie at least 150x. I’ve seen Pee Wee on Broadway; I’ve seen Pee Wee in Los Angeles; I’ve been to a showing of the film with a Q+A afterwards; i saw the Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA; I know 3rd Street like the back of my hand; I’ve visited the Dinosaur from the movie in Cabazon…and I’ve been to the Alamo to see if there is a basement. Completely obsessed. For 28 years.

Then last week, I learned that the movie wasn’t even filmed at the Alamo! “The Alamo” was really the San Fernando Mission. What a ripoff!

So, I did what I had to do. I visited the San Fernando Mission today. I feel better. Despite that I could not find Pedro and Inez.

okay, so. one of my bff’s spied on my sister and me during a midnight run to donut man back in November. Tim just happened to be at donut man too and got an über unflattering picture of us. even Kim looked bad, and she takes really good pictures. well, before we got home, Tim posted the awful picture of us on FB with a caption like “this is what a midnight donut run looks like.” Kim and I made it back to her house, having no idea what had transpired, to find James surfing Facebook and asking us WTF was going on as we walked into the house. after a quick investigation, I called Tim and demanded that it be taken down. He obliged … it couldn’t have been up that long. but it was up long enough for my friend Jenn to tell Tim that while she didn’t know him, he should be bitch slapped for posting that picture. it was awesome! so, months later, as Tim and Jenn had never met, I organized the First Annual Bitch Slap dinner so my friends could meet!

it is possible that I remade the bed with dirty sheets. it’s suspect. but if I did, mr. weyers is going down as I found said sheets in the linen closet. it’s not like I reclaimed them from the floor in front of the washer

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it’s practically raining here. And it’s cold. So why is there an ice cream truck on my street? 🍦

Okay, I may have a situation. I pulled my hamstring. I have Ben Gay on it. (I stink! and yes, i know they make scentless, but I’m using up what i have on hand.). I’m wearing yoga pants (i know … hilarious as I’ve never yoga’d) … and I’m going, well, sans proper undergarments. Some of the Ben Gay has migrated and my lady parts are en fuego. 🔥 may die

I have some career decisions to make, like now, as new shit has come to light. I hates making these choices. it all seems so permanent.