You can’t escape Destiny. She comes for us all, that relentless bitch. That’s right, Destiny is a lady. Destiny might be a lady, but Victory has a penis.

New Girl

TSA clearance still works.

I haven’t parked at the parking spot since late 2008. I get out of the car tonight and hear “Julie!” One of the guys, Luis, remembered me after all of this time. OMFG

almost to LAX for the big trip to Florida. Joe is driving. I love being driven to the airport. I should have sat in the back seat to make it more real

I love George Thorogood’s “narrated” version of “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.

I am less amorous of the fact that I’m pretty sure I dated the protagonist described in that song.

there has been a weird odor in my kitchen for a few weeks. I can’t find the source and it’s not “dead mouse stinky,” so I figured it resolve itself. wrong. this is what I recovered from the unseen back of the ‘frig. yes. those are onions. exposed to air. for at least 3 weeks. and for the record, baggies and plastic storage containers are readily available in this very same kitchen. I have lost control.

*they were in there for 30 days.

“I eat sixteen saltine crackers and lick my fingers.” -Jack White, “Sixteen Saltines”

Last Thursday, I discovered that LBJ is missing. I conducted a through search of my messenger bag, about 20 handbags, drawers … well, you get the point. i couldn’t find him.

well, I had to break into reserves. and LBJ2 made it to the P!nk concert. At $500 a seat, I felt justified in sneaking in another fan.

I hope I find his brother.