I received devastating news today. The Alamo shots in “Pee Wee’s big Adventure” were not filmed at the Alamo! They were filmed at the SF Mission.

I feel better after being on the treadmill. I also feel good after shopping. Why can’t I get excited about shrinking the size of my ass like I can buying the latest Kate Spade? maybe I should only allow myself to shop while on the treadmill????

yesterday was such an adventure-filled day that the following posts may be out of order. i’m posting as i remember tidbits. i didn’t take any notes … i was the driver and had to concentrate on said driving skills as the state of california has sent me a nasty letter regarding my recent speeding infractions, but that is another story for another day.

so, on my way down to meet my partner in crime, i called to make a reservation for dinner. Messhall in Los Feliz / Silverlake is not an Open Table restaurant so i had to go old school.

i got an answering machine advising that if i wished to make a reservation, i could leave a message and someone would get back to me. it was a tuesday night, so i didn’t think there would be an issue with a same-day reservation, but it is LA and i loathe waiting for tables.

the hostess with the mostess called me back around 4. i missed her call … but her vm advised that they were light on reservations (tuesday) and not to worry … just come in when we were ready and she’d take care of us.

we were super early. like senior dinner time early. like a little before 5. the place was deserted, but i told the hostess who i was anyway, a. because i am polite and b. i didn’t want her wondering where we were. i guess a. and b. are kinda the same, but whatever.

she let us pick our table and was super friendly. my partner excused himself to the latrines and during his absence, the hostess came over to our table and advised me that my voicemail was one of the best she had ever received. she said that she could tell that i was very important. like a producer or something. (so LA). i assured her that i was very important and we went about our evening.

so, the call came in.  my poor, sick, sleep-deprived and rattled sister had hit a pothole (what the hell are you doing with my tax dollars, California?) and blew a tire.  she was waiting, on the side of the road, in her leopard print pajamas at 1500 in the afternoon, for Ralph* and AAA.

Dominic was still in his pjs … (new pair after he peed on the couch, duh) … but we had to go rescue Blondie.  we packed up and headed out to Claremont Blvd + 6th to find her.  I think Dominic had fun “looking for mommy on the side of the road because her tire went poof!”  (and yes, I egged him on with the poofed comment … that is what aunties are for!)

after a WTFAY call at Claremont Blvd and Foothill, Dominic and I found Mommy.  I’m not sure how we missed her.  She and Ralph* were on the side of the road, emptying the trunk of the suddenly inoperable Civic in a frenzy as they were trying to release the spare tire aka. POS do-nut tire from the bowels of the car.  it was a sight.  thank goodness Ralph* had some empty boxes in his truck so they could gather all of the obviously important and signed documents that had been abandoned like 2 years earlier by, well, we’ll call him Mr. Brady.  my poor sister looked like she was going to collapse.  oh, and she had a ‘frig in that truck too.  i know it wasn’t appropriate, but that made me laugh.

so, Ralph* and I sent her home with Dominic and we waited for AAA to arrive.

Omar, from AAA, was able to make the car drivable, despite the fact that Ralph* fought him every step of the way.  Omar was a saint.  Are you supposed to tip those guys?  I wasn’t sure of the protocol, but Omar got a tip.  I’m sure he’ll never forget changing that tire with Ralph* breathing down his neck.

so, I, aka Speedball Tucker, got to drive the Civic with the do-nut.  okay, the story has a happy ending and the Civic wound up with all new shoes, but seriously, who let’s a known speeder drive a car with a do-nut for a kick?  i wasn’t sure of the rules, but i think you can go up to 55 on those shoes, so i stayed on side-streets and there was no further malfeasance with that ride.

after the tire situation had been resolved, i headed over to the hospital to see the cutest patient in the 909.  poor little Sassafras, she was SO ready to go home (who could blame her?) but she was trying to be brave.  i cannot express in words how awful it was to see her in the hospital.  i hope it never happens again.  we hung out and watched “full house;” it was like Kim and I got to relive our youth a little with that show.  who doesn’t love uncle joey?  Sophia was so good; not one peep out of that kid.  Model patient.

I left the hospital, rescuing my car from the 909 Valut, and I think James and I finally ate dinner at 2100.  and of course, Sir Dominic was running around like a madman, not understanding the correlation between his super high activity level and his bouts of trying to expel phlegm from his bod.  hats off to my sister and brother-in-law, i do not know how they do it.  now, if we could bottle and sell that energy, well, someone else could be writing this entry for me.  🙂

sophia was released the next day … 1/17/13.  i think she may have kissed the family room floor when she got home she was so excited.  poor kid.  she is a trooper.

as for the rest of the family, Dominic was sick for a few more days, although he managed (i don’t know how) not to be admitted to the hospital.  Kim got sick too, but somehow James stayed healthy.  it looks like the Sinks are out of the woods, but Aunt Juju is on call, at least in her mind, until those kids go off to college.

*some of the names have been changed due to a personal preference of specific people to remain off of the grid.

“max and ruby” used the term shuttlecock during one of the endless episodes Dominic and I watched. the term was used correctly, but f., i had to giggle. especially when after using shuttlecock in the first place, Ruby and her BFF used birdie for the duration of the episode. wtf?

First solo day on Boy Patrol.  What a little angel.  Dominic was under the weather too … so we watched movies and “Max and Ruby” ad nauseum.  Now, while I have watched movies such as “The Big Lebowski” over and over, but rarely straightaway in a row.  Silver lining is that I discovered “Big and Chunky” by will.i.am during the screening of “Madagascar 2.”  I am so in love with that song. 

The morning went by quickly.  And my little buddy took a nap, right on schedule.  Why?  Because I am magical.  So magical, in fact, that he managed to pee all over the couch during said nap.  (Damn, that couch really tied the room together, Poppie.)

After the Boy and couch were cleaned up, I asked Sir Dominic what he wanted for lunch.  He advised that food would work.  Not helpful.  I’m the aunt … I don’t have kids … I wasn’t sure what to feed him.  He wound up with “white pasta,” strawberries, yogurt and Gouda.  And water.  I didn’t want those temporary teeth of his rotting out on my watch!  He ate it, so I must have done okay.

The afternoon started out as peacefully as the morning.  We were happy.  Until the phone rang.  All of the sudden, the quacking of a duck tore through our nirvana, announcing the incoming call of Blondie.  No big deal, right?  I knew she was coming home at some point to take a shower break.

How wrong I was.  Somewhere along the 6.1 miles that separates the hospital in SB County and the Sink Estate, Blondie hit a pothole, or something, and blew a tire.  Dominic and I had to act fast and go help rescue Mommy.  This is where it gets good … more to come.

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The initial phone call came in at about 14:30 advising that Miss Sophia was going to be admitted to the hospital (yep, in San Bernardino County) for suspicion of pneumonia.  Of course, I volunteered to head up Boy Patrol, so I grabbed my go bag and started out for the IE.  But first, a trip to Target was needed … who knew that I would wind up going to be the first of three trips to that very Target in as many days … I needed to secure prizes for the patient, as well as the also under-the-weather little brother.

Almost 3.5 hours later … traffic was ludicrous … I was within a mere 0.5 miles of the aforementioned hospital, and more importantly, to my poor niece who undoubtedly had been put in jail, err hospital issued clothes, who was yearning for Target purchased items that would hopefully, temporarily, distract her from her plight. 

But I digress.

I had started to turn left onto Foothill Blvd., when my dashboard started flashing that I had an incoming call.  (So Batman).  The parents were in dire need of dinner.  Carl’s Jr. was requested and I obliged … if it gave them the trots, they were already in the hospital.

Finally, I was back on my way and I arrived at the hospital.  What a clusterfuck.  It’s still under massive construction and I swear the entrance location / parking pattern / valet drop-off keeps changing.  I struggled to make my way to the valet, now saddled with two diet cokes, two burgers + fries, my skull purse and my messenger bag.  I didn’t need the messenger bag, but there was no way in hell that I was going to leave my iPad in the car under the care of a valet in the 909.

I entered the hospital.  I swear the Scorsattos should have their own wing.  The only reason I don’t get panicky + nauseous in there anymore is because my sister had her fabulous children there … now I can manage to squash, albeit temporarily, the memories of my grandfather’s final days there by thinking of the arrivals of our bonus Italians, Sassafras and her sidekick, Dominic. 

But again, I am meandering along another tangent …

I was juggling all of my gear and the Sinks’ dinner and headed to the 3^rd floor, Peds.  My heart was in my throat as I rounded the nurses’ station to 319B.  I’d never seen a kid in the hospital outside of L+D.   Lucky for me, Sophia was off having a chest x-ray, so I had a minute to acclimate.  Oh, and to bitch about the traffic.

F.  Seeing Sophia return to her room in a WHEELCHAIR hooked up to Charlie, her IV, took my breath away.  It was so hard to be strong for her … I would have taken her place in a heartbeat.

Sophia was so brave.  And patient.  (Pun intended).  She had her toys and she loved opening her prizes.  My sister was preparing to spend the night, so I tried to convince her that they were camping.  (So not even glamping).  Hafuckingha.  It was difficult, but I left and made my way to the Sink Estate to collection provisions for Blondie.

Upon my arrival at the SE, I was greeted by the boy faction of the Sink family.  Man, that Dominic is cute.  James and I gathered Kim’s supplies and the three of us headed back to the hospital.  Mission, and yes, we chose to accept it, was to 1. Drop stuff off to Kim and 2. To drive the boy to sleep.  Duh, we were successful.  After visiting with the Sink Ladies, the boys and I headed back to the Estate.  It was rough, but we made it.

Oh, and Happy Birthday, James.

paintitblack73

naps got in the way if my writing today. I got sick in the 909

working on the outline. this may take longer than I thought. I think I could supply an HBO season of 12 episodes at this juncture.

one of the things hindering the creative process is the smell of the Shack. I don’t know what Joe did in here while I was gone, but JFC, it smells like ass