these two idiots were kicked off an earlier flight today, squatted in the exit row so they could sit together and just started yelling about how American sucks. (duh, but you don’t say that stuff on a plane). I told them to zip it or the pilot would kick them off for being terrorists. wide-eyed, they looked at me and shut their mouths. I am a liar, but I couldn’t take their yammering OR a delay while they kicked them off another flight

traveling is so classy

Leslie at the Admiral’s Club in Chicago just mixed up a batch of some kind of drink, that is in a pitcher, dipped a spoon in it, tasted it and replaced the lid. She did not double dip, but it was disgusting. Get a glass. This is precisely why my cousin, David, has an excellent point when it comes to his stand against eating potluck food under any circumstances. People are pigs

creepiest flight attendant ever. i call him Norman and he is also a close talker.

how is it possible that a $129/night courtyard in dirty jersey and a $299/night Marriott in Philly can both be filthy? that is not my peanut. assholes.

night two. mt laurel, new jersey. 1000 century parkway. night two. THOSE AREN’T MY CHERRIOS

hot dogs are definitely a theme of the day. the driver that picked me up at the Philly airport owns a hot dog cart that he runs on the weekends.

let’s start at the top … of his head … he met me at baggage claim and I instantly noticed his toupee. I’ve seen a few in my day, but this one was the biggest by far!

he was nice enough … probably mid-50s … fourth week on the job … already got a lady lost in the Bronx … So you know I’m thinking I’m going to be found dead tomorrow morning, Tony Soprano style.

he drives. and talks and talks and talks. then he tells me about his hot dog cart. now I have the weenie man song going through my head, my phone is ringing, he won’t shut up, and I’m stuck in the back of a town car doing 70 across the bridge into NJ, life passing before my eyes. incredible.

finally, we make it to the hotel. I get out … don’t even wait for him to open the door … and flee into the dump of a hotel at which I am staying.

I need to do some soul searching and make some changes. I can’t live like this.

okay so this lady asked the wheelchair pusher dude to get her a pretzel dog and a bottle of water. she gave him $5. he came back, with the goods, and asked her if she wanted the receipt. she said yes and realized that he paid $0.30 out of his own pocket for her food. she whipped open her wallet, gave him a dollar, and told him to keep the change. OMG. I just hope she’s in coach because that hot dog is going to be searching for daylight (quoting Scott Martin) before the flight has landed in Philly.

who the fuck does this to their fellow passengers?