okay, so the poop story.
I flew back from Vegas a few days ago … It’s a 40 minute flight to LAX … once airborne .. which sometimes is the caveat … but I digress.
so, first class was allowed to board as they were still “cleaning” second class. (I’m trying to focus, but seriously, “cleaning?” who are they kidding?) anyway, it became obvious, as a maintenance dude, who looked super hostile (it might have been his mullet), traipsed up the aisle carrying seat cushions and seat belts. something had obviously gone down on the flight in.
mullet finishes, finally, and they board the rest of the plane. we’re behind schedule. shocking. as people board, a guy, about 20, asked the flight attendant if he could use the lav … she was like sure, just hurry. so, he entered the first class lav.
i was in 3E, so I had a front row seat for what was about to unfold.
I didn’t notice until they closed the door, but the guy never exited. the flight attendant, told the pilot, through the cockpit door, that we still had one in the lav.
we waited.
the guy emerged and just about ran to his seat. he didn’t shut the door all the way.
the flight attendant got up to secure the door and started gagging. the smell of poo reached me pretty quickly and then it all made sense.
the FA called the only male FA on the plane up to the front. together, with their noses and mouths covered with their American Airlines sweaters, they opened up the door a little and threw coffee grounds into the offending lav. it was like the scene in “the hangover” in which Alan throws meat into the bathroom to drug the tiger.
the smell got pretty bad, despite the coffee. the flight attendants finished throwing coffee and one of them told us that it’s just a 40 minute flight and we should avoid using the lav if we could. hot.
she then asked the pilots, who had opened their door for some reason, “who does that? it’s a 40 minute flight.”
with the smell of poo lingering in the air, we flew home to LAX.
where the tiara hits the road 